Can’t afford a coffee? Don’t buy my books (get your hands on them for free)


I’ve never understood the argument that some authors make that if you can afford a coffee every day, you can afford to spend a few bucks on their crummy ebook. It makes no sense. Coffee and books are completely different markets.

Of course, I want people to buy my books. It’s a great personal reward (beyond the royalty payments) that someone you may or may not know has decided that they want to spend their three dollars or five dollars or whatever to buy your words, or even ten or twenty dollars to get your words beautifully bound in a fresh new paperback. It’s incredible, and every sale is its own reward.

Having said that, there are many other rewards to writing your own book. Finishing it. Submitting it. Getting an acceptance letter, or even a rejection can be its own reward. Editing. Getting a cover with your name on it and thinking it looks fucking cool. Working on the manuscript with the publisher. When you approve the final manuscript for print. When it goes live on Amazon. When the sales rank goes higher, each jump signifying another sale. When people actually read the book. When they review it.

Some people can’t afford your books, and sometimes they really want to. Some people don’t know your book exists or they’re unsure if it’s worth the cost.

That’s why I’ve got a few things going on at the moment to reach out to those readers and get some books into their hands/onto their kindles.

1: I’ve teamed up with Karl Fischer of the 2016 New Bizarro Author Series/Ultimate Bizarro Showdown Blackbird Poetry fame. This is not Black Mirror Karl (a creation of Erik Wilson’s mad colourful mind). This is the guy who wrote Towers, that beautiful crazy kaiju story of love and war.

We’re running a bad kaiju art contest in which anyone with a pen and paper, regardless of talent (in fact, less talent is preferred) can get a copy of Karl’s NBAS book Towers, and my new kaiju outback thriller, Kaiju Canyon. The competition is open until the end of August, at which point one winner will be selected to receive a sweet kaiju pack from us (mostly Karl’s doing).

Speaking of my new kaiju outback thriller, Kaiju Canyon, I have a new book out. A kaiju outback thriller, which I’m mega-excited about. That thing I mentioned about all the personal rewards involved in publishing a book? It can be very easy to feel underwhelmed at times when it doesn’t perform as well as you’d hope. Just remember that no one will be as proud or as passionate about your books as you are. No one. It feels great to have people on your side championing your work, but strangers and friends and family will never be as excited about it as you are. That’s why your book needs to be fun and exciting and it needs to make people want to buy it and read it and review it and tell other people about it. I’ve got a couple of incentives to help people get excited about Kaiju Canyon.

2: Anyone who buys Kaiju Canyon (kindle out now from Severed Press, print available very soon), hit me up and I’ll send you a copy of one of my previous three books:

My 2012 NBAS fantasy adventure epic, House Hunter, where houses are living creatures made to fight each other for sport and for war.

My surreal dystopian milk world survival story, Day of the Milkman, about the last remaining milkman in a world ruled by the milk industry now turning sour.

My dark/weird poetry collection, Beautiful Madness, featuring poems both violent and beautiful, visceral, imaginative.

I’d like to think I’ve got a good spread to choose from, so hopefully there’s something here to suit your tastes.

3: As mentioned earlier, if you can’t afford to buy my books, promotion 2 will hardly work out for you. I’ll send you a copy of one of my three older books mentioned above just for sharing the Amazon link to Kaiju Canyon. Word of mouth is a valuable thing for small-fry writers like me. I will reward your kindness with ebooks. Just share, send me a message on facebook or twitter, pick a book and it shall be yours.

4: As always, if you’re a reviewer, whether it be for a literary website or a publication, or even Goodreads or Amazon, if you’re interested in reading/reviewing my books, all you need to do is ask.



When a hunting expedition goes missing during a freak earthquake in the Australian Outback, the Alice Springs Police Department sends out a search team to find the missing hunters. Instead, the rescue party discovers a newly-formed canyon in the heart of the Outback.

Nothing could have prepared them for the horror that awaits them as they find themselves besieged by gigantic flying monsters and mutant lizards.

Kaiju Canyon is an action packed journey into primordial terror, where every step you take may be your last.

Milkman Days #6: Garrett Cook


Garrett Cook is a freelance editor. He runs bizarro workshops on occasion. He is an editor for the Imperial Youth Review. He is the author of Jimmy Plush: Teddy Bear Detective, Archelon Ranch, Murderland, and Time Pimp. Oh, and he’s the two time winner of the annual Ultimate Bizarro Showdown. Boom.

Garrett’s good for helping you to find your footing in the genre. He knows the people. He knows the books. If you’re unsure where you fit in with the bizarro scene, Garrett Cook just may be able to help you find your way.

For being such an integral part of the bizarro community, Garrett Cook is my sixth and final honorary milkman.

“Day of the Milkman is one of the weirdest damn things I’ve read. And I’m Garrett Cook.”


Milkman Days #5: Jeremy Maddux


Jeremy Maddux is a pretty rad dude.

He’s an editor for the Surreal Grotesque magazine, and the host of his own bizarro-themed podcast, Surreal Sermons. He reads a ton of bizarro books from a wide variety of authors and publishers (how can he keep up with them all?!?!?!).

On top of his diligent reading and interviewing habits, Jeremy is also hard at work on his own writing, and if he invests even a fraction of the time on his writing that he does on investing himself in the bizarro community getting to know books and people, then I think we’ll be in for a real treat.

Jeremy, we’re all rooting for you.

For all his hard work and dedication Jeremy Maddux is today’s honorary milkman.

“I am totally comfortable calling S.T. a modern day Richard Brautigan for his consistently playful and arresting imagery. His word pictures are like Brom paintings.”

Keep an eye out for the next release from Surreal Grotesque, an anthology called Vertigo Schisms, featuring my story, the Orphanarium, alongside G. Arthur Brown, David W. Barbee, Vincenzo Bilof, Kevin Strange, and others.


Milkman Days #4: Gabino Iglesias


Gabino Iglesias is my bionic brother. We went through the NBAS together. He’s a great writer, journalist, and friend. There’s a lot to admire in his work ethic and his dedication to the small press scene. He reads a ton of top quality small press books and publishes reviews on some pretty awesome lit websites. His writing is always appearing in awesome anthologies, and he’s got a whole bunch of other stuff going on behind the scenes that I don’t even know much about, but I know Gabino is incredibly awesome. That’s all anyone really needs to know about him.

Oh, and he wrote this wicked, visceral dystopian beast of a book, called Gutmouth. It’s about a man with a mouth in his gut. And the complications that come with it. And the horrible, depraved world in which such beings exist.

For being a total badass with everything he does, Gabino is today’s honorary milkman.

“S.T. Cartledge is one of those rare authors who seem to have an innate understanding of how the bizarro genre works and what needs to be done to deliver great stories. In Day of the Milkman, he starts by reinventing the shipwreck genre and ends up reinventing his own elegant prose. Sure, this is weird and has touches of science fiction, but it’s also proof that Cartledge will be a very relevant voice in strange fiction for a long time to come.”